The way we were.......

It's crazy how two people who were tight as can be can be so separated. I mean I see him everyday, I mean everyday YET it seems like I don't see him at all. Or maybe it's that he doesn't see me. Am I really invisible? I know, I'll admit that when all of this began, I never thought I'd be sitting here 6 years later typing any of this. But here I am. In the beginning, we went out every weekend. I mean every weekend. The beach, Ontario Malls, Hollywood, clubs, bars (wow bars), karaoke bars, malls, movies, concerts, Vegas, San Diego, game night, etc.. To go from ALL of that to not a god damn thing is ridiculous. I mean we are talking about someone who I could call on a dime and would be there. Someone who I could mention something to just once and who would remember when I asked him to. I don't know what went wrong. Actually, I do. But that was many moons ago and there was no commitment between us. However, to be fair, there was an understanding and I suppose I may have broken that trust. He tells me now that there is no going back once that's been broken and I think otherwise. When two people are in a marriage and someone is untruthful, I understand the bond that is broken, the trust value breaks down. When two people are in a dating relationship, I also understand because there certain rules that are agreed upon but I just don't think that I did something SO bad that it's too much to come back from. All I know is that in the end, I truly miss the friendship we once had. Above all, I miss my best friend, my confidante, my road dawg (if you will). I am in love with my best friend (or what was left of him) but I honestly cannot wait for the day when I can truly say I am over it. Not that I want to be but he has made it a point to let me know HE truly is. Until then, this is my solace. Thank you for many great years E! I only wish they hadn't ended in vain. I also want to let you know that my one moment of untruthfulness wasn't worth all that has happened. I suppose I have a hand in the man you are now. I only hope that you change that for the next woman who you let in as we (women) are not all the same as I know all of you (men) are not either. Wish me luck...time to turn the page and write the next chapter in this book called "My Life". However, we may visit this topic a few more times. Sorry.
<3
Your Dawg, Homie, Em & Pookie