MIGRAINES SUCK!

So I suffered from the WORST migraine in the world last night. The last time I had a migraine this bad was about 2 years ago. I suppose a lot of stress could be the key factor in this BUT I am honestly SO irritated with the fact that I even suffer from it at all.

Normally, I am a person who vents in my journal and now on my blog thanks to my beautiful friend Miss April May McDonald and her "Life As a McNugget" blog. She turned me on to this outlet which I LOVE! (Thanks April). But lately, I have taken more of a silent road and have not really vented any of my frustrations to anyone or anything. I just felt like it was time to keep all of my griefs, heartaches, stresses to myself. Guess I was wrong for doing so and last night told me JUST THAT!


Just like the pic with the brunette Barbie in it, my head felt just like that. With every throb came a wince. With every ache came an accompanying electric body shiver. My neck got so tense I couldn't move it from one side to the other. Mind you, I actually went grocery shopping like this though it was at its beginning stage. Then once I arrived back home, I then unloaded all of the groceries and began to make dinner though NOT just any dinner. I had the bright idea to make lasagna from scratch. YES, so there I am wincing in pain, all the meanwhile stirring the beef, watching my pasta and packing away groceries all at the same time.

I must say, the lasagna was great or so I heard. I never ate a thing. Other than some yogurt and some 7-up, I had nothing to eat yesterday which I thought ma have been the underlying culprit to my migraine drama. So I decided to pop 3, count them 3 Tylenol Rapid Release pills and it only irritated my stomach. I vomited immediately, felt dizzy, and decided to take a hot bath. I stood in there for over an hour. I only realized what time it was when E came to the door and asked if I was "ok." It was almost 8 p.m. I jumped and BAM...throb throb throb.

I got out of the tub, E massaged my neck, I grabbed a small wash towel, wet it with cold water, placed it on my head and made myself go to sleep. I can tell you that I prayed to God as I always do. I asked him to give my family strength and not to give them stress should I not wake up the next a.m. I truly felt that bad. So some of you may ask, why not go to the doctor? Well 2 reasons, one I do not think it's a major deal since they are not something I suffer from frequently and two, no insurance. But let's face it, even when I had insurance, I am the hardest person to make to go see the doctor. I mean I truly have to be feeling BAD to go to the doc and usually by that point, I am far past where I should be. But honestly, I think had I had insurance, I definitely would have been in the E.R. last night.

Anyhow, I am a little better today. Still a slight headache in the back of my head but nowhere near the pain I was in last night. I am in bed typing this and this is where I shall remain the whole day. There is still a lot of lasagna SO that is tonight's left overs! Sorry E.

Anyhow, thanks for reading. I am going to try and have a better day today!

p.s. Yesterday was kind of an emotional roller coaster for me so that may ALSO have played out in my migraine!

Em*

Happy 7 to E&M!

Today marks the 7th anniversary day of the day I met the man who would change me internally. I didn't know it then but this guy would turn my world upside down all the while making it better as time went on. It began at the front door of a then friend's house. I rang the door bell, he opened it, and we stood there for a moment taking each other in. I asked for my friend, he asked who I was, I replied, "Marlene." He said, "oh I heard ALL about you. So you're the infamous Marlene." First thought...HOT, second thought...pompous/arrogant, third thought...."I hate this guy."


As time went on, we hung out more and more and he began to grow on me. The more we talked and hung out, the hotter he got, the more aggressive he was, and the more I fell deeper and deeper without knowing it. However, I really think I knew it then but since I was dealing with the aftermath of a breakup (which I THANK GOD FOR EVERYDAY), I was too self-absorbed in my world of heartache, anger, and revenge to think about anything else nevertheless anyONE else. So I threw aside all emotions and acted on impulse. I began the downward spiral of our friendship though I didn't much care at the time for I merely took for granted that this "force" that surrounded me would always be there. I mean why wouldn't it right?


And it did...for 4 years straight. I couldn't have asked for a more LOYAL friend, more LOVING friend, more GIVING friend. A person who's day would light up as long as I was happy. There weren't too many of those days back then. I was NOT a great friend to him emotionally. I was a big mouth with no care in the world needless to say his feelings didn't matter much to me then either. I truly was walking the fine line of our friendship and completely took him for granted. The thing is I knew it then, I know it now. But back then, since I wasn't emotionally at the same place he was, I didn't care. I mean I did care but I didn't care. It was a straight paradox.


So we went on doing the same old thing until one day, I made a HUGE mistake. I'd rather not get into what I did but I can say it was HUGE and boy did it put a blow to our friendship. The trust went out the door, the loyalty remained, somewhat, and the love began to lessen and lessen YET still, he stood by me through and through and YET still, I acted like an ass. I can truly say I didn't deserve his friendship, his kindness, his heart, none of it. I didn't deserve him! That's putting it kindly. But like they say in that song, "It's a Thin Line Between Love and Hate." The sweetest man in the world turned into something completely different. I didn't know it then but my HEART was about to get a lessen in love, the HARD WAY! What went around came back around to crack me in two!


Over time, attraction turned into friendship, friendship turned into care, care turned into butterflies, butterflies turned into LOVE! It hit me like a brick. Some say I felt that way all along although I didn't know it; or maybe I did and ignored it. Regardless, I took him for granted and mistreated him and his feelings for me, and one day it just stopped. He told me he'd move on and I said he should.
He did. Heartache. He gave me ONE more chance 2 1/2 years ago and asked me, "if we should try dating." In the moment, I said, "no." I felt vulnerable and I had never felt that way. I said, "NO." God if only I could turn back the hands of time.


I went back and read my journals and confirmed what I knew all along, I loved him. I did. I knew it. I know it. They knew it. They saw it. He didn't. I made sure of that. So without knowing so, or maybe I did, I pushed him, and pushed him, and pushed him until he finally backed off. Then it was too late. I had lost. My best friend was gone. I tried to tell him over and over how sorry I was, how I had loved him all along, how I knew I had taken him for granted, how I knew that he was the ONE, how I knew because my Grandma had told me so. How I knew because my Aunti had told me so. How I knew because my Momma had told me so. HE HAD TOLD ME SO!


There is no going back. I know, I tried. There aren't enough words to say to apologize. I know, I've tried. There aren't enough unspoken words through actions to be done, I know I've tried, there isn't enough time to heal broken wounds nor a road that leads back to where we were; I know I've tried. So, instead I turn to God and thank him for the wonderful thing he has both given and taken from me. LOVE. As cheesy as it sounds. E+M = some of the best times in my life. If I take anything from him and this experience it's this: Becareful what you wish for because God gives you some of the greatest things at the right time and if you blink, you may just miss it.


So to my E...I want to say THANK YOU for being the man you were to me all those years. Words could never express how much you truly meant to me then and now. All I can say is I am truly sorry I jumped in with my eyes closed and spoke up when it was too late. I'm sorry for all the grief, heartache, and patience I've tested. I'm sorry I didn't trust you enough to give you my heart. I'm sorry for failing you and us. I'm sorry for holding my breath.

THANK YOU FOR 7 of the best years of my life. I take all the smiles, all the frowns, all the laughter, all the tears, all the love, all the bitterness, all the friendship, all the estrangement with me. I will never forget you and you will never be too far in my thoughts. I wish you nothing but the best life has to offer because you are truly a gem. They say "diamonds are a girl's best friend" and you were.

I loved you then, I love you still, always have, always will!

Em*

75TH DRAFT DAY 2010!

It's "Draft Day" and today is one of 3 days. I LOVE this time of year and it gets me eager and excited anticipating the upcoming football season! Call me crazy but I am an advid FOOTBALL lover, follower, and fan!

This time around however is a little bittersweet as in the wake of ALL the drama surrounding Ben Roethlisberger's potential legal issues and in fact suspension as well as the abrupt departure of Mr. MVP, Santonio Holmes, this should be an eye opener. We JUST signed Leftwich and Batch back onto the roster after having both bee released by us. Some people JUMP THE GUN and immediately assume that there is talk of a "trade" of Ben to another team in light of his 6 game suspension for violating the NFL's Personal Code of Conduct (cough cough BULLSHIT!) NOT GOING TO HAPPEN SO TO THOSE PEOPLE SAYING, AND THIS INCLUDES YOU SO-CALLED LONGTIME STEELER FANS, SHUT THE FUCK UP! He is our leader and he WILL get us #7. We just need a bigger line to allow him to do what ONLY he can! DELIVER us another ring! REMEMBER, the day we drafted BIG BEN is the day we sang, "STAIRWAY TO SEVEN!"


We wound up with a Maurkice Pouncey and a few other great guys, brought back some veterans (B. McFadden, L.Foote, Batch & Leftwich) and some undrafted rookies as well. All in all, a decent draft!

I must admit, I wanted to draft Kyle Wilson a.k.a. Troy Polamalu mini-me BUT it's all good!

I hope everyone enjoyed the draft! I sure did--oh and I liked the NFL one too! HAHAHA!


Em*

EARTH DAY!

Today marks the 40th Earth Day, the annual event meant to raise awareness of our ecosystem and the need to treat it with care.

Earth Day is a nice day to celebrate our environmental accomplishments, but there are things that we can do every day to help!

Here are some examples of things you can do to help the Earth today and everyday:


♥ Turn off the lights when you leave the room.

♥ Turn off the TV when you are finished watching it.

♥ Use both sides of your paper.

♥ Help recycle paper, cans, glass, and plastic.

♥ Don’t leave the water running while brushing your teeth.

♥ If you see litter on the ground, toss it in a trash can.

We only have ONE Earth so take care of it! You alone CAN make a difference.

"GET YOUR GREEN ON!"

Em*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TROY POLAMALU!

Ok first off, I KNOW his birthday was yesterday and I did pay him a b-day wish via my fb page BUT since he is my "boyfriend" in my head ;-) I wanted to give him some love in a dedicated blog as well.

What can I say about my boy Troy EXCEPT that he is one of the SICKEST Strong Safety's to ever play the game and since this is MY BLOG, I CAN/WILL say that so don't hate.


I of course am aware what college he came from as I am a true NON-USC fan! I pretty much despise EVERYTHING L.A. and USC is NO exception! Sorry! However, I DO love me some Troy though so for that sake and THAT sake only, I do own his college jersey. Now that's love!



I hope everybody (including mostly my Momma) enjoys this blog!


I am glad to know you are at practicing with the team BUT I HOPE you do continue your own "personal" practices as it has worked out for you in the past!


See you at the season opener! STEELERS BABY! SHOOTING FOR #7!!!


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TROY!!!

Em*

HAPPY EASTER; yet not SO happy!

Other than the fact that I saw my bros on Saturday along with my Momma, today sucked for me. Very emotional past 2 days including yesterday. The only smile I had was when I saw Mojo asleep and figured I'd try and catch a picture of her wearing some bunny ears. I intended to actually take the bunny ears off of the headband they came on so that they would fit her better, but I merely forgot. So I improvised and snap the shot above. LOVE IT! I went on to take a few more with her Easter Basket. Yes I bought my little Mojo an Easter basket of her very own and filled it with treats/food/a toy. She's my baby!



She cooperated somewhat but really was tripping out on the ears. LOL. She is such a sport!

I had a pretty quiet day alone. Many more of those days to come.
Anyhow, I hope you all had a wonderful day spent with the family.

I really miss the days when we used to go to my grandma and tata's house and she would cook up a storm and then they would send the kids in the house so that they could hide all of the eggs. When I came outside, my tata would tap his foot on the floor so I would know where the eggs were hidden. He was so slick like that. But he didn't just tap me in the direction of the hidden eggs, but rather the hidden eggs with $5 in them! At the end, I would have collected all of the eggs with money in them and would have to share them with my brother Joseph so that my mom wouldn't get upset. The days when we would shop around for the perfect Easter basket. The days when I would gladly hand my Peeps over to Joseph because I thought they were too sweet.


Then all of that changed when we grew up and mom ended up having my two lil' bros and the fun started all over again. Painting Dudley Eggs, shopping around for the Easter basket stuff of which I always made from scratch. I don't recall my brothers ever having a store bought basket to be honest. I made them baskets (or something close to them) every year up to last year. This year, I asked them and one was not in the mood for the festivities while the other stood mutual. I ended up buying their usual Peeps and a chocolate bar. Simple yet not unnoticed. I bought my Momma a Lucy Beanie Baby and some Sugar Babies inside a popcorn bowl. I made a little something for my nieces and that was pretty much it!

I couldn't have been in worse company as I stated earlier, let's just say I was alone.

On to the next holiday! Hopefully, Cinco de Mayo will be a more fulfilled one than this.

Happy Easter Everyone!


Em*

HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY TO OUR ALYSSA MARIE RAMIREZ!

This is a SPECIAL DEDICATION blog to our daughter, grand-daughter, and niece in honor of her birthday. We wanted to tell her how very much we love her and how special today is.

Your Daddy loves you with all his heart and he wishes you a very Happy Birthday today!

Grandma loves you very much and wants you to have a wonderful day. She wishes you a very Happy Birthday!

Uncles Christian and Matthew wish you a Happy Birthday and also want you to have fun today. They love you very much!

Edgar said to tell you Happy Birthday "pretty girl" and he wishes you a Happy Birthday!

Mojo said, "Meow."

I hope you like what I made you and I wish you the VERY BEST BIRTHDAY!

We LOVE YOU ALYSSA!!

Love, Aunti, Dad, Grandma, Uncle Christian, Uncle Matthew, and Mojo

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