A Marilyn or A Jackie...

For so long I have dabbled with this whole, "which are you, a Marilyn or a Jackie?" I think I finally have come to the realization that maybe, just maybe I am a combination of both. I have for reference sake, always wanted to be looked at as a Jackie but I think in hindsight, I've been dubbed a "Marilyn" in many ways. I am judged upon because of my looks most of the time. If it's men, they see "ass" and if it's women " they tend to "hate" because that's what most women do is hate. However, I see me in both women and use this to my advantage.

Jackie had grace, presence (but in an "intelligent woman is in the room" type of way), she was a great mother, a strong wife, an advocate, an ICON, the bell of the ball and a stylista who had a sense of who she was long before she ever married John F. Kennedy (who by the way is my favorite President ever)!

Marilyn was sexy, enticing, the center of attention, a glamour girl, a sexpot, a movie star, a lost little girl who yearned for a father figure in most of the men she dated and in love with a man she knew would never be hers.

I think it is possible to have an even balance of both sides. However, I also believe that it is just as easy to get lost on one side because of the false pretenses and because of the yearning for "control." Whether it is of men, of a situation, of one's life, of anything....all we want is control.

Jackie was the perfect "woman" symbol we needed as the "President's wife." Or so we thought.

Marilyn was the perfect "sex" symbol who's looks could stop a room in its tracks merely by entering into it. Both women yearned for the others powers. Sometimes Marilyn wanted to be a Jackie and sometimes Jackie wanted to be a Marilyn. YET, they both shared many things in common (besides Jack/Robert) lol.

My point is that I guess I should be happy with my mind, my life, my body, my strength, all of it. I know I was dealt a bad hand with respect to my father and I didn't believe that it had affected me so much that it had made its way into my personal life BUT it did! I just have to accept that it happened and pray that it doesn't continue to mold me into a certain type of woman who allows men to mistreat her or take advantage of her. I suppose things happen for a reason. Flaws and all, I am me and I guess I am both a Marilyn and a Jackie! I can be a smart sexpot and a sometimes lost but always found little girl inside all at the same time! ;-)

M.