Butterfly Kiss <3

BOY LOVED GIRL, she loved somebody else.
GIRL LOVES BOY...he's moved on.

Why does everything I do never seem to be enough? I sit here now and still stand by my decision to NOT jump into anything with anyone else right away. After having dating one of the biggest MORONS I've ever met for 6 yrs, I didn't want to mistake a "great guy" as a rebound. SO I didn't, I waited..exactly 4 years. I always knew in the back of my mind that what I had was great YET I still approached it cautiously. Now I am paying for it. There are days when I am great then there are times like now when it all hits home. I am not fine with the situation nor the facade I am putting on for "him." Everybody else sees it and he does too but I truly without a doubt need to let it go. Friendship isn't enough and though I have many days/weeks where I am okay with just that, in the end I am not. I know I want more, he knows I want more but I wind up with nothing. I deserve more..I deserve better. I know he doesn't act out in a malicious way but that's how I feel. I know what I need to do so I better get a jump on it soon. I just hope he knows what he's done and why I need to do what I need to do. It sucks to love someone and not have it reciprocated. But then again, "what goes around comes around." I thought I had made amends but it seems as though I am mistaken. The weird thing is I believe I loved him all along but I was just too scared to admit it. I guess I should get use to the idea that it's not going to happen.

I'd be happy with just one "butterfly kiss." Oh well, time to wake up and realize that love isn't a fairytale.....